Part 5: Cowardly Cactus.

Update 04: Cowardly Cactus.



Welcome back, folks! Since we went and removed that rock wall, as well as the tomb itself, some new paths through the shifting sands have been opened.



You want them back, you gotta fight me first, chico!

...Your name is Spine Les. So let me guess, you’re about to…



Yep, turn tail and run. Well, nothing to do but follow him.



We’re going to be pursuing Spine Les for a while, and the game’s going to keep showing him running off to make sure we know where we’re going.





There are three Platypunk dunes on this screen, but no cannons to blast them with. I believe the proper term for this is ‘railroading’.





I tell you what would totally work! Try an Elasto Blast!

Black Wombat’s comment about learning the Elasto Blast making Rocket into the most dangerous of slimes continues to prove 100% true. It seems to be the slime’s ultimate technique, used for all sorts of things.



Try putting three items with the same number on your head at once. It’s totally awesome!

Goolia hands over a wooden arrow so we can give their tip a try; it’s a nifty bonus, but I wouldn’t really plan around it. Later letters will elaborate.



Goolia’s idea proves effective, so let’s continue on.



On the next screen Spine Les is across the water to the right, but there’s more to see up here.



Well, this could get ugly fast. Mind the Picksys don’t start chucking rockbombs around!



Did you see the cart on the way here? The one you can push by yourself? Try pushing it into the rapids. It’ll get swept over to the other side.

Well, it’s not like there’s many other places we could push it…



Pictured: A comedy of errors.



Oops! Wait a minute. This was meant to be a letter to Rocket!

Along with another wooden arrow, we get an insight into Poxie’s fantasies about Mother Glooperior.









Oh yeah, while Perry was a Shell Slime and Poxie was presumably some kind of Spot Slime, Bunny is… I’m not sure what Bunny is. They have feet, for one thing. (Edit: Cheez reminded me that Bunny's a Slabbit. )



Some iron balls......and arrows have......’1’ written......on them, right? If you put......three on your head......at once, they’ll turn into......something really strong! But......the ones that say......’3’ on them don’t change, so don’t......waste your time trying!

Why did I have to type that? (We get another arrow for the pile.)





Ah, now this looks familiar.



Me an’ my tank are gonna send you splatterin’ into kingdom come!



You wanna bet on that, bub?



Huh. Not that it’ll make any difference. You don’t stand a chance, pipsqueak!



Looks like the Plob have more than one Platypanzer at their disposal… And we’re also outnumbered! Feathers and Spine Les can only carry one item each, but this still doesn’t bode well.

Still, it’s time to take down the Platypanzer once more!



So, uh… My performance in this fight is actually a little bit shameful, to be honest.



Some poor timing means that my Orichalcum and the bombshell I had protecting it both get shot down at the last second, and a rockbomb hits me just before I can launch some ammo to deflect it.



The obelisks keep breaking and depriving me of a steady stream of ammo, which complicates matters. They really must be replaced as soon as possible.



But the actual shameful part is right about here, as I try to launch myself over to the enemy tank before its HP actually hits zero, hoping that even one piece of the ammo I’ve just fired will connect.



Suffice it to say, all of said ammo gets shot down.



At which point I decide to beat up Spine Les and throw Feathers into his own cannon, thus giving me time to head back to the Schleiman and finish them off.



Oh, and Feathers gets knocked around a bit more.



Before being shot out of the air by his own teammate.



Not my finest moment, but I hope the humiliation conga makes up for it.



Oh, and tank battles after the first one will cough up not just a slime chest, but a bonus prize as well.



Dear Goddess! Thank you for sending this brave young hero to rescue me. I’ll be seeing you in church then, I trust. Hm, Rocket?

Seeing as it’s the only save point, I’d say that’s an inevitability. Also, that girder will come in handy shortly.



Rocket is in the top percentage of slimes, I’m pretty sure.



After Feathers fades from existence, it looks like Spine Les survived to run away another day.



Please use this divine treasure to aid you in your quest.



Holy water is a very nice reward for this stage in the game.



Water with holy powers that can eliminate spooklear bombs.

We haven’t encountered them yet, but spooklear bombs are special ammo that phases through all others without either item being destroyed. The only item that can knock a spooklear bomb out of the air is this holy water, so it’s handy to have sometimes. 18 damage is as much as our Oaken Club, too!



For slimes, who don’t have the skills to make iron, these are pretty valuable items, you know.

Girders aren’t meant to be used as ammo, but they certainly do have their uses.



After a tiny bit of backtracking, Spine Les reappears on the screen with three Platypunk dunes. The carts are in operation now, some of them carrying cannons we can use to clear the way.



But if we clear the other ones first, we get some Gold and another path to explore.



And what do you know, it’s our first optional tank battle!



Well, now you’re gonna have to take on my Short Shooter. An’ it’s meaner than it looks!



Now, the footage for this fight actually contained errors that prevented me from making it into a video. However, you are allowed to redo some tank battles, so here’s the end-of-update Schleiman in action.



The Short Shooter resembles one of the less common Dragon Quest enemies, the Bodkin Archer. As you might imagine, the Picksys have loaded it with a ton of wooden arrows.



However, they take a step back from the second Platypanzer and make called attacks, using only one cannon at a time. Since the basic arrow only does three damage, this is a good chance to just throw all your strongest ammo into the other cannon.





At least the Short Shooter can switch things up, though it did so just a tiny bit too late to avoid losing over 40% of its health at once.



One nice touch is that the enemy tanks each have their own special interior design. Note the arrows and wood floorboards, compared to the metallic flooring of the Platypanzer.



Anyway, the Short Shooter doesn’t last very long.



I’m gonna dive straight in the water when I get back to town. Can ya gimme a ride, mate?

Sure thing, Winkles. I’m still not sure why the shell slimes are Australian, but I approve.



You won’t need to worry about that where you’re going.



You should take a dip some time, too. It’s lovely an’ cold, mate.

So not only is Rocket somehow not full of sand from rolling around here, but he can go into water just fine. How do slimes even work? (We get yet another arrow.)



Chases enemy fire and brings it down! It doesn’t always come back, mind.

The boomerang is a defensive bit of ammo for our Schleiman tank, seeking out a piece of enemy ammo to knock down. It’s not exactly fantastic, but can be handy in a pinch.



Anyway, let’s keep moving forward.



Yep, odds were at least one of those two chests was going to be a mimic.



Oh, this looks familiar. The right-hand dune is the one I pointed out as a future shortcut last update.





And speaking of shortcuts, here’s one back to the second screen.



It’s so cool! Just jump in and enjoy the ride! You can travel real far sometimes. Maybe that’ll help you out on your quest, huh?

It’s not generally handy during normal gameplay, but hopping in the Schleiman’s cannons to avoid having to break the enemy tank’s door down is a perfectly viable option for tank battles.



I’ve had, like, zillions of ideas for different recipes. People are gonna love them!

Since we only have one item that counts as food, Goodith gives us a Pompom.



Alright, the way is clear! However, those playing along should make a note to open this treasure chest while they’re here.



Rocket’s up to 8 HP! That’s more than any regular enemy has.



Hmm, this place seems a bit empty.



I’d make a joke about this cactiball attack being an ambush… but you get the point.





I’ll be grinnin’ like a Cheshire cat when I take that Schleiman Tank o’ yours!

Slimes have their own version of Alice in Wonderland, it seems.



Oh, and while you actually get to choose whether to start a tank battle under normal circumstances, this one is forced after Spine Les gets the drop on Rocket.





I love how happy the Purrsecutor looks. Click here to see some kitty chaos.



So, this fight is a little different from others. Pyjamas’ underling is very aggressive, and likes to invade the Schleiman.



Jailcats actually have a special ability to facilitate this; they’re able to jump over a tank’s front door without having to break through it. You can just see the ping on the minimap telling me that he’s already inside.



That said, he is only a plain Jailcat with 3 HP. However, his antics allow me to discuss systems damage.

See how some of the computer panels have been broken at the bottom of the screen? The Schleiman has panels tied to the three pairs of dispensers and the door. If you break all the panels tied to a pair of dispensers, all ammo that comes out of them is on fire and cannot be touched for a little while without taking damage.



If the door system gets broken (as is about to happen here), the door repeatedly opens and closes. Anyone who gets caught in it will also take damage, so be wary while exiting.



Oh, and enemies cannot just be carried around in tank battles! It seems their fierce fighting spirits allow them to break free after five seconds. This does not hurt Rocket, fortunately.



Seems the cats couldn’t resist clawing their own tank. And they’ve got iron balls to fire at the Schleiman, which are incredibly slow but powerful.



Their engine room is a step above our previous opponents as well; they’re going to start getting more complicated and well defended as we go.



Hmm, no slime chest. That means…







Oh, there it is. I suppose they needed to show us Spine Les escaping again before we could open this.





We-can-talk-again-there. I-have-important-data-to-tell-you.

Well, when a cyborg tells you they have important information, you should probably listen.



Which is why the game immediately forces us back to town.



-------





I-am-no-apprentice. He-is-an-annoying-old-man. But-I-hope-we-can-work-together.

I’ve asked Slimechanic to take care of increasing ze tank’s HP.

It’s-going-to-cost-you. You-can-supply-your-own-parts-but-I-have-to-charge-for-my-time. Let’s-take-a-look-at-your-tank…



The Schleiman’s 100 HP isn’t going to cut it as the enemy’s ammo supplies keep improving, so Slimechanic here is going to help with that. His upgrades are gated by progress, as shown by the last one on this page just being question marks.



The four upgrades we have access to right now are worth 30 HP each, bringing the Schleiman up to a total of 220. They cost, in order:
- 50 Gold
- 100 Gold, 3 Pompoms, 4 Chests
- 150 Gold, 1 Girder
- 200 Gold, 2 Pompoms, 3 Catnip



It-was-behaving-suspiciously. Investigate.

We’re still not done with that shifty Spine Les, so we’ll finish off the Tomb of Tootinschleiman next time. While we’re back in town, let’s poke around and say hello to the new folks, and open Slimechanic’s letter.





Excellent, a girder to replace the one that went toward upgrading the Schleiman.



Oh! Rocket! You weren’t listening in just then, were you?



Now that there’s enough good ammo to get rid of those fragile obelisks, tank battles should go by a bit more smoothly.



It’s at the back of His Royal Wobbliness’ throne room. You should rock on over!



Nothing wrong with a good bit of swimming. It’s been a long time since I’ve had the pleasure, come to think of it.



Anyway, here’s the royal kitchen. It looks like His Royal Wobbliness is pretty well fed.



I call it ‘The Journey of the Green Things’. What do you think? I reckon it’s gonna be, like, a bestseller!

Bah, vegetables. Rabbit food.



No, it’s all about, like, timing and how long you stretch, too. I read it in a magazine.





I would offer to record your adventure log, but Mother Glooperior is in charge of that. So it falls to me to be the one to provide you with the fruits of Yggdrasil. Yggdrasil leaves and Yggdrasil dew can be a great source of strength if you’re defeated. But they’re incredibly valuable items. You can only carry one at a time.

Ah, now here’s something for those who might be struggling a bit… Somehow.





The Yggdrasil items aren’t cheap, but they’re effective.



With the congregation growing, I think that’s about it for today.



Next time, we will rescue the last of the slimes trapped in these sandy lands, and finally corner that cactiball coward.